i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to "sike myself out" within writing down all the expenses i would have to take care of each month - activating my created relationship to the idea of money where there has always been fear and worry around the outcome of any situation that involves money. which is every situation.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest instability for and within myself because i wanted to, selfishly, label myself though not clear what i even wanted the label to be.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that labels are not needing to interact in the physical.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that being someones [mother or sister or parent or teacher or guide or insert label here] is not important- for not accepting and allowing myself to see that realizing myself as someones, every ones, equal as participating parts of the whole of life is where equal accountability within participating is established.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my unworkedout experiences in life to judge others - not seeing that in this i, essentially, judge the myself that i see in others.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to always bring a reaction to anyone or anything back to myself. because any reaction (both positive and negative ones..)within me is created within and for me. its is felt and experienced only by me. thus the accountability for the creation of any reaction is always with me. about me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire training and, sometimes, use it as an excuse or point of self whinning as to how difficult this process of , really- simply interacting with another being can be.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the role the parent plays in the life of any adult when they were growing up until i myself was at a point where it was my responsibility to care for another being in the way we mentally only think someone who is a parent would.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that all life is in some way parenting/teaching/guiding one another in our collective existence here in this world. and in this there is a responsibility toward life that we collectively parent and teach and guide in the ways of what it is to be here.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the moment to moment opportunities for teaching and learning alike
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the past emotionally appreciate the act of building houses with charity - in this disregarding my responsibility towards self research and self honesty which both would show that there has always been more vacant homes and space in relation to how many people there were "forced" by situations and circumstance to be living outside.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest fear within and for myself due to the self honesty it takes to admit that i am doing something that i may classify as "wrong" that i see is what is actually producing undesired results.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to negate accountability by wallowing in shame.
i commit myself to slowing down...slowing down and breathing are the most supportive things ever. in these physical actions we literally create what we think we have none of. time. time to create what happens next.
i commit myself to continue working on slowing down my reactions to realize my place as creator of me not just "be-er" of this person named tree. in this i take responsibility for me in totality. my tone, my delivery, my thoughts, my reactions. all of it.
i commit myself to work on dropping the labels placed on people and things and simply be and equal participant, present in the moment of interaction.
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