^^^this was the last post i was working on before i stopped writing a year ago. fuck.. its been a year. dealing with my duties as an economic slave i have not been allocating time for writing. and im realizing its not because i cant. its because i dont. big difference. we use that word 'cant' often and do not give attention to what we are actually saying within these things that we, in our minds, cant do but that we, in the physical, need only move ourselves to do. we are really saying what we chose to do and not do. of course there are things that we physically cant do. like fly by flapping our arms. but there is a difference between a mental cant and a physical cant. and im seeing that while i mentally create and accept and allow the idea that i cant allocate time for writing the physical, if im willing to look at actuality versus desires, will show that i, in fact, can allocate time for writing. plain and simple. i cannot let my circumstances or my fears force me to create a wall between me and the process of birthing myself.
this shit is rough, yes. but i made a commitment to myself years ago. i said, self- we will dig and we will find and we will realize and we will stabilize. we will speak and we will write and we will share and we will move and we will change and we will care.
and we dont stop.
