day 30: our living room floor - sf/scs

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create tension within me when i consider the needless state of the ground outside.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see each one of us here in this house that is the one world we live in as a contributor in its state in totality.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall into a self dug pit of sadness over the state of the ground outside. in this i miss the opportunity to walk the realization of our responsibility within the point of litter.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to address my dismissal of stability in favor of a accepted and allowed reaction as sadness.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish my responsibility for the state of the ground outside because i do not litter. to know is not enough. and really, to do is not enough either. we must be willing to equally walk our talk and talk our walk. in this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not speak to others about litter because i do not see it as "my place" in this place that is this house in this one world we live in.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blinded by my idea of ownership vs public property.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blinded by my idea of property.

i forgive myself for never accepting and allowing myself to consider the effect my litter has on other people.

i forgive myself for never accepting and allowing myself to consider the effect my litter has on the animals in this world.

i forgive myself for never accepting and allowing myself to consider the effect my littering actually has on myself.

i forgive myself for never accepting and allowing myself to consider exactly why trash exist or how it is supposedly disposed of. i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it is not my place to ask such questions and that it is someone elses responsibility.

i forgive myself for never accepting and allowing myself to consider that i am some one else.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and experience discomfort within myself when presented with the practicality of a situation in which i have perpetuating abuse.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the totality of the earth that assist in the breath i breathe when i litter.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become complacent within the idea of our current disposal of trash. within

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the problem that is litter begins and ends, as any problem, with me. how i experience myself within basically seeing a portion of myself/ourselves, is initiated by me. i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to move as stability within a shameless sense of self discovery.



i commit myself to slowing down my participation. to breathe and see exactly what it is i participate in with my actions.

i commit myself to appreciate the world around me. not only the people that i share this house with but the house, the floors, the foundation and the ground around.

i commit myself to be the change.

day 29: our living room floor

i spend a good amount of time outside with my job. specifically the past two months i have been working with a client that keeps me working outside. we get out and talk to people. go to where they are and inform them on what we are doing. and while outside i do a lot of walking around. i get to see many things out there.

some really cool...


some really random...



some beautifully gross...


some things with messages...

peace is remembering we are 1! (...it says 'peace is rembering we are #1!' but what needs correcting we shall correct :)



some prime for fun...





but when i look all the way down, past the cool and random and fun and beautifully gross things, to our visual bottom line what is noticed is always the same. and thats the amount of trash on the ground. our ground.

consider that every home is like one room in the house that is the one world we live in..
that would make the ground outside these rooms(houses) our collective living room floor in the house that is this one world we live in..

i visit a lot of areas doing this outside gig. and in every area the litter situation is continuously out of control. because i do a lot of walking i see a lot of cars driving by. i have seen cars go by and throw a fast food bag of trash out of the window or other random items. like the window is some sort of portal to a trash can.

most of the trash seen is empty alcohol and liquor bottles and cans. but that is equally matched by food cartons, wrappers, condoms, clothes and cigarette butts. i use to be a cigarette smoker for 9 years. for some reason most dont see cigarette butts as litter. i never considered the impact of 9 years worth of non degradable waste on our collective living room floor in the house that is the one world we live in.


"Most cigarette filters are made from cellulose acetate. Cigarette filters contain twelve thousand plastic-based fibers, and just like other forms of plastic, 'they do not biodegrade' The leftover filter is the most common form of litter; International Coastal Cleanup volunteers collect an estimated 53 million cigarette butts each year" --http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cigarette_filter

the display of our consideration, or lack there of, within our improper disposal of trash really reveals many things about ourselves. if we are willing to self honestly have a look. it shows our lack of physical care and respect for our surroundings and the support it gives us..it shows how we separate ourselves from ourselves though all selves are Here together equally. and the 'just focus on urself character' 'ur what matters to u character' is fed and manifested.. it shows how we handle issues we arent sure how to handle. and that is to get complacent and chalk it off as "just a part of life".. it reveals how we displace responsibility and accountability for the whole of our home that is this one world we live in.

and some parts of our collective living room floor in the house that is the one world we live in are clean and well taken care of. consider the practicality of that.. having a dirty house but only taking the time or making a way to clean a corner of it. and only because its the corner of the house that u spend the most time in. the corner that u really feel connected to in the house. then to consider that in the house there are many windows, floors, fixtures, electric systems. all these things, together, assist and support the running of the house as a whole. all connected, in some way, to the house. consider the practicality of having all broken windows, floors, fixtures and electric systems in the house but only repairing one window. all corners of the one house will be affected by the half-assed fix. this is our issue with change here. we are a house divided. we are so separated from ourselves within our house that is the one world we live in that we cannot fix our home because we are only focused on making our room the most fun it could be.. all the while ourselves and our roommates arent paying attention to the mess that has become our home as a whole.

we are one body of physical beings here. together. on this one rock. one and equally breathing and living here. this is not reflected in our behavior as beings here. when i really began to consider the point of our connectivity here and how far and deep that shit actually goes that was enough to allow me to really see what i was doing when i decided to litter and contribute to a growing problem instead of being a growing solution. now i dont litter. ever. it does not make sense, in all actuality. it makes the opposite of sense. and if i see someone litter i usually talk to them about our living room floor.

i see so much litter and waste in my profession..

self forgiveness and self corrective statements to come on this point. its one im continuously faced with that i allow to get to me.