day 20: a conversation about fear - sf/scs

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question the nature of fear but to rest on the illusion of its actuality over the actuality of existence here in the physical.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow down the individual participated process of personalizing my idea of fear to see how it is, indeed, a process in which self participates in the creation by accepting and allowing ideas instead of exploring and understanding the actuality of action and consequence here in this world.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow the guidelines and teachings of another blindly. blindly meaning without consideration of the 'what is' but instead only following 'whats told'. in this blind following i am literally living out the ideas of another all the while tricking myself into thinking a passed on idea is "just who i am". within this i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that even if i am making myself in the image and likeness of the ideas of others i am still making myself. there is always self accountablity.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my fear blind me to the common sense that is readily equally here.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fearfully follow the idea that people should have to pay money to stay alive. in this putting of a price on life and allowing those to lose to serve as example of those still in the game. within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from those who are losing in this game we have made of life missing the physical consequence this acceptance and allowance has in our world.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear questioning. we present our children with "safe" or acceptable places in which they are to question. it is not something that is accepting and allowed to be done freely, openly or on every platform. we also present our children with people in which they are to and are not to question. in this we absolutely stifle the youths budding ability to learn, discern and fact find. within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the idea that i am only supposed to question some things and not others which gives to me, from me, a sense of being controlled by the unquestionable when self is always the physical point of creation here. creation of ideas and questions and movements. and i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pass this idea along to be lived by the youth of this world.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at fear from the perspective of something that is naturally within me and thus should always be there. in this i disregard the actuality of my participation in the creation of 'what it is we fear' or 'what it is i fear'.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to break fear down and see what it is i must contribute to the idea of fear for it to be real for myself.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to find realization within the fact that everyones fears are different. not all fear death. not all fear dogs. in this disregard i miss the point of the individually personalized and created experience of fear.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the energy generated when creating the idea of fear for myself is 'who i am' as life and to find comfort within that energy as needed. missing the point of creation and what that means here in the physical for self and all life as one as equal when giving power to the idea instead of seeing self as the intiator/creator. within this i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize self responsibility within creation.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the idea that fear is something that happens outside of me that i am simply at the mercy of. in this i give the power of the actuality of my self movement to thoughts towards being a victim to what it is i fear. in this acceptance and allowance of self pity i do not give myself a chance to walk back the creation of fear.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly follow the idea of fear instead of having that conversation with self where i question the idea to see it for what it actual is.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create frustration within me when people show fear of my dogs because i do not create the same experience for myself.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the outcome of events..to fear what i do not yet know.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the responsibility that walking through what it is i fear demands as creator of the individual experience of what it is i fear.

i commit myself to slowing things down and focusing on being present within my breath when faced with a fear or the idea of something that i would fear doing. allowing myself to release addiction to that energy generated when creating fear.

i commit myself to question. everything. mainly parts of myself that i accept and allow without question. these things that are "just who i am". and in turn parts of the world that i accept and allow without question. these things that are "just who we are".

i commit myself having conversations. being open to conversation with people. in awareness within communication i am able to see how i am expressing myself.

i commit myself to not accept and allow fear to make me willfully blind to the actuality of a situation.

i commit myself to stop creating needlessness in the form of fears for myself.

i commit myself to stopping self judgement when faced with realization of the need to change.