in this blog i will be walking myself out of years of programming. who i have become is not who i really am as Life within what is best for all. who i have become is who i am within self interest and a disregard for all other life. and to change this i must first be willing to self honestly look at how myself was made. to do this i will, through self-investigation, see within myself the patterns i participate in, the characters i have created and the ideas the i accept and allow and how these things manifest in the physical as "me". and i apply self-forgiveness for all this mess. then i bring action to cause with self-correction in moments to live as the directive principle within my movement so i can be trusted with Life to do what is best for all in every breath. consideration. honesty. oneness. equality. and so i walk..

Monday, August 20, 2012

day 6: possession 4 - additional self forgiveness + self commitment statements

SPEED

its very interesting that im walking this self-possession point of speed for myself right now. figuring when my self movement should be slower..where speed or 'just jumping' in is not self assisting.. where i have, again, created ideas for myself which trigger emotional response within myself in regards to speed.. where ive become so accustomed to 'just jumping in' and the self assisting aspects of speed that i am literally trying to push or force others. their movement, their words, their change, their realizations, their self movement. when in actually, that is impossible. no one can change another one. period. people may be able to influence another person but its up to the person to realize or disregard whatever they define as influence and actually walk it into physical reality as change. and no one can be forced or pushed to truly, self-honestly do that, as themselves, for life.

so, i was just recently presented with this imposition of ones ideas behind speed and self movement that i have been self-possessing myself with and dishing out to others within my secret mind, from another out right. the "not enough" , "ur not moving fast enough", "do more", "be how i think u should be" "do how i think u should do" "what u are doing is not enough for me and my mind of ideas" that i exist as with others within my self-possession with speed was reflected to me in another. the word judgement came up. and reading what i wrote yesterday i saw that i did not address the direct point of judgement within how i exist when in the self-possessed point of my created ideas about speed. i am seeing that judgement is a ignition point behind many points.

judgement -noun-

1. forming of a determination.

2. the evaluation of evidence in the making of a decision

3. the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others. in this i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what i say or think in judgement of another is actually indicative of my judgement of myself. thus, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that we are in a time of continuous change. i cannot form a determination on someone in process as process is a continuous change.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others according to how they move within my self created ideas about my speed in which i have self-possessed myself. i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to require speed from others because it has been assisting to myself. in this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea that how people assist themselves should be the same for everyone (or dictated by me).

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush or force others into their own self movement. in this i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that self movement is not self movement unless it is coming from self.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that in formulating ideas of how actions and movements must be carried out places self expression in a bubble. in this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept suppression within self expression.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that i can move as self direction when in moments of being directed by something other than myself. i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that must grab a hold of myself as the mover of my physical body. that is what i can move.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate the experience of frustration and judgment in me when others do not live up to an idea i am not seeing i am being self-possessed by.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that in wanting everyone to move like i move i am imposing my self importance within the process of another.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider less of a person because they are not moving at a pace a deem "right".

-- i commit myself to move with others around me. in this i will not push or force my expression over the expression of another.

i commit myself to show that in judging other people we actually display the judgement we have towards ourselves.

i commit myself to stop all judgment and creation of ideas about people.

i commit myself to stop all judgment and creation of ideas about myself.

i commit myself to realize that people change, but not on my time.

i commit myself to move within patience and compassion not only for myself within my process but for all others within theirs as well.

i commit myself to not rush through this process. as i do not want to miss a point or be addressing a point half assed. i commit myself to be real about the points i am facing.

i commit myself to drop my ideas of "right" and "wrong". in entirety. as they do not support this process of self responsibility and accountability for life and all that is here. i commit myself to drop my sense time and ideas of weights and measures within me and simply move within what is here at all times.

i commit myself to walk with. not walk for. i commit myself to move within connection to the bottom line point of to do what is best for all in moments.

i commit myself to stop comparing my self movement to the movement of others.

i commit myself to value life. not my ideas about life and how life should move.

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